A Public Service Announcement from Leg Ganders

Everyone's beautiful, but I can't say that to individuals or else people will think I'm flirtatious (dumb society's keeping me down, man). So if you're reading this, you're beautiful. If you're not reading this, you're still beautiful, you just haven't been told so by me today.

Go look in the mirror and tell yourself that you're beautiful. Do it. You're gonna do it, and you're gonna like it. So there. Don't worry about the fact that you think you'd be more pretty if your skin was a shade darker, or if you wish your eyes were blue instead of brown. Brown's more awesome anyways. Just don't tell my blue-eyed friends I said that.

Love you all. Hugs and stuff.

Late Night Drafts; Morning Confusions: part II

Presidents: why bother?

Alright, so, let's get the basics out of the way. The American government is set up as such: there are three branches of government. The Legislative branch makes new laws. The Judicial branch, which basically makes sure people follow the laws (the court system is held within this branch). Finally, you have the executive branch. This branch is basically the President, Vice President, and his little peanut gallery (aka his cabinet).

The Presidents job is essentially to say "yay" or "nay" to everything. If a bill makes it through congress, it goes to the President, who basically has the power to sign it into law or to say "herp derp I do what I want," veto the bill, and sent it back to congress, who can revise the bill and try again. Or, if they receive 2/3rd's majority, can overthrow the presidents veto and make it a law anyways.

Sooooo... why? What's the point of the President again? He approves bills that have already gone through a vigorous screening period that can last years just to get tossed back and forth between the House of Representatives and the Senate (which together make up Congress)? And even if he doesn't like the bill Congress can pass it regardless of what he says?

Here's a quote from WhiteHouse.gov. "In order to pass legislation and send it to the President for his signature, both the house and the Senate must pass the same bill by majority vote. If the president vetoes a bill, they may override his veto by passing the bill again in each chamber with at least two-thirds of each body voting in favor."

Oh yeah and also the Pres can even have his personal appointments denied by Congress. What's that? The President is kind of a useless figurehead? "Many of the duties as head of state are ceremonial and convey no real power." - Wikipedia.

One of the main jobs of the President is to plan the country's budget. However, even when he does that, Congress can just be like "naw man you're dumb," and throw out his budget.


The President does have executive power, however. If he wants to, he can just be like "bam, I made this law up out of thin air and there's nothing you can do about it." That's fine and dandy, I guess, as long as you want a dictator.

What I'm getting at here is why should we even have a president? People will try to tell you that we need all three branches of government to have "checks and balances" and to make sure that no one branch gets out of control. We could accomplish the same thing with two branches. The President can stonewall a perfectly good bill so it doesn't become a law just because he doesn't like it. That's not balanced at all, in my opinion.

So I'd like some honest feedback here. And I mean real feedback. Not the typical "no... just no," that I get when I put out some crazy idea. Yeah Matt, I'm talking about you. And I still think that this country could get itself some help if it started up some factories. It'd be creating jobs, we'd be creating goods that we could export, we could use renewable energy to run them. But no. You never listen.

Late Night Drafts; Morning Confusions: part I

Last night at around three in the morning, I jolted myself from my sleep. Mind racing, I grabbed my phone and wrote down two things: "Man advice: can't get a girlfriend." and "Presidents: why?"

This morning I woke up not remembering what I'd done in the middle of the night. My memory recovered once I saw what I wrote. At least, I remembered writing things down. I don't remember why. However, lack of knowledge never stopped me from taking action! So, I'll just take these and run with them. I'll run far far away.

Manly man advice for men: can't get a girlfriend? It's probably your fault.

So, for starters, let me share a couple of little factoids about women that most people would agree are somewhat true. Firstly, girls don't like to be kept waiting. Of course, this doesn't mean they wont keep you waiting. Don't even get me started on double standards. What I'm getting at here though, is guys, don't keep a girl waiting.

It's a widely known, yet rarely acknowledged fact, that there's a null-zone somewhere between "just friends" and "more than friends" where two individuals have "feelings" for eachother, the kind of feelings that make you feel all tingly, and take your breath away, and other cliche things like that, and despite the fact that the two individuals are blatantly in lesbians with each other, neither of them can muster up the gumption to do something about it. Henceforth, they're stuck in a sort of relationship limbo. If you've ever been to a high school, you've probably seen this.

Basically, the advice is to SUCK IT UP, PRINCESS. Make a move. And if you don't, you're a pathetic excuse for a man. Take it from someone who's been there and done that. It's not a gamble if you know you're going to win.

I'd have a secondly for these facts about women, but I don't know anything else about them (and I already wrote the firstly part, and I'm too lazy to edit). So there you have it.

Some time in the near future I'll write about my "Presidents: why?" First I have to remember what I was trying to say when I jotted that down though. Lawlz.

What's in a name?

This just in: a man named "Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop" has been arrested for assorted drug and firearm charges.

(and yes, this is his picture.)

In other news, a Wisconson man legally had his name changed to Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop.

This reminds me of a book I got once, called "The Duh Awards." It's essentially a compilation of Darwin Awards, except instead of dying at the end they usually just get arrested or looked down upon by society as a freak. For instance: (Runner-up for The Adam and Eve Memorial Disappearing Fig Leag: Recognizing talented innovations in nudity) "Runner-up: The President. When Theodore Roosevelt was president, he liked to swim naked in the middle of winter to get the day started--and pressured lobbyists and other politicians into joining him."

What a freaky man.