I don't blog about my candle making adventures, my family (with two thousand pictures of my kids), or my life as a housewife who makes quilts 24/7. I'm not some pretentious hipster who can't finish three sentences without using some form of the word "musing." I'm just here to laugh at society.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Sometimes...

Sometimes I feel like I can't make fun of politics because it'd be too easy.
Sometimes I feel like if llamas controlled everything, the world would be a better place.
Sometimes I get the feeling that women have a strange complex within themselves that force them to go after dudes who are obviously a lollapalooza of suck-fest-ness.
Sometimes at night I think something, then stop myself and say "no, that's retarded."
Sometimes I watch movies with subtitles in different languages.
Sometimes, when I hear "wish upon a star," I like to imagine some little alien wishing upon Earth from someplace far away.
Sometimes, when I go to social events and I notice people sitting off by themselves, reading or texting, I make fun of them, even though I'm sitting off alone making fun of people.
Sometimes I make random noises.
Sometimes I listen to Christmas music in the Summer.
Sometimes I intentionally put myself in a bad mood for no good reason.
Sometimes when I'm bored I talk to myself.
Sometimes when I'm walking around I skip just to weird people out.
Sometimes I make random lists about stuff.
Sometimes I feel inspired to do something, but waste it on some worthless piece of turd idea.
Sometimes I'm overly suspicious about other people's motives.
Sometimes I try to imagine what it'd be like if I wasn't alive, but it just hurts my brain, because if I wasn't alive I couldn't be thinking about being alive because I wouldn't know what being alive was like, and then *blam brain-a-splode*.
Sometimes when I concentrate I make funny faces.
Sometimes when I'm hyper I get shifty eyes.
Sometimes I can type like, 100 words a minute.
Sometimes I get fed up with the rules of society, which makes me want to study them so I can learn about how much they suck, just to justify my hating them.
Sometimes I'll spend up to an hour on Wikipedia clicking link after link learning as much as I can.
Sometimes I think it'd be fun to do something illegal.
Sometimes when people analyze everything I do it makes me hate them.
Sometimes all I feel like I need to be happy in this world is a good hug.
Sometimes I rhyme just because I can.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Expanding Your Musical Horizons

Every now and then you find something you really enjoy, and you feel the need to share it with the world. That's been happening to me a lot recently, particularly with incredibly good yet underrated songs and artists. A lot of Indie genre stuff doesn't go far in the musical ocean because their target demographic is hipsters and people who actually listen to Indie music. I think that's a real shame.

So I invite you to go forth and experience the overwhelming sea of unheard genius. Envelop yourself, develop your taste for the sound that makes the world spin around. Let me introduce you to some of these up and coming young bloods. Go forth and listen.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

I'm big in France

Is English like a second language in France? If not, I'm even more confused. I'm not complaining or anything, and I actually think it's pretty cool, but apparently more than like, half my page views come from France.

So to all my French readers, bonjour, how do you do? Glad to have you here. I don't really know any French other than bonjour, except what Flight of the Conchords have taught me (baguette, Jacques Cousteau!), so please forgive me.

Anyways, thanks to all the readers everywhere. Brazil, Germany, Australia, France, America, or anywhere (these are all places that have come to my site). Much love. Mucho amor. L'Amour. Have a nice day.



Wednesday, July 27, 2011

My List

Someday, I want to marry a girl. A very special girl. So special, in fact, that I don't even know how to describe the girl that I'm looking for.

Short hair is cute, long hair is beautiful, blue eyes are pretty, brown eyes are deep, green eyes are sexy, tall is attractive, short is adorable... I know some people make like, a check list of things they look for in a significant other; I could never do that. Every time I start a check list, bam, some girl who doesn't fit at all comes in and steals my heart.

Women do that. They steal your heart. Your mind, your money, your soul... occupy your dreams... invade your priorities like a pillaging Mongol, ravage your sleep schedule like a rabid badger. Make your heart melt.

I guess, in reality, the special girl I'm looking for does all that stuff. She doesn't have to look like anything. Someone you can be crazy with. Crazy about. Crazy for. Crazy without.

There's a girl out there who'll turn your world upside down. And man, she's a keeper.