Sometimes...

Sometimes I feel like I can't make fun of politics because it'd be too easy.

Sometimes I feel like if llamas controlled everything, the world would be a better place.

Sometimes I get the feeling that women have a strange complex within themselves that force them to go after dudes who are obviously a lollapalooza of suck-fest-ness.

Sometimes at night I think something, then stop myself and say "no, that's retarded."

Sometimes I watch movies with subtitles in different languages.

Sometimes, when I hear "wish upon a star," I like to imagine some little alien wishing upon Earth from someplace far away.

Sometimes, when I go to social events and I notice people sitting off by themselves, reading or texting, I make fun of them, even though I'm sitting off alone making fun of people.

Sometimes I make random noises.

Sometimes I listen to Christmas music in the Summer.

Sometimes I intentionally put myself in a bad mood for no good reason.

Sometimes when I'm bored I talk to myself.

Sometimes when I'm walking around I skip just to weird people out.

Sometimes I make random lists about stuff.

Sometimes I feel inspired to do something, but waste it on some worthless piece of turd idea.

Sometimes I'm overly suspicious about other people's motives.

Sometimes I try to imagine what it'd be like if I wasn't alive, but it just hurts my brain, because if I wasn't alive I couldn't be thinking about being alive because I wouldn't know what being alive was like, and then *blam brain-a-splode*.

Sometimes when I concentrate I make funny faces.

Sometimes when I'm hyper I get shifty eyes.

Sometimes I can type like, 100 words a minute.

Sometimes I get fed up with the rules of society, which makes me want to study them so I can learn about how much they suck, just to justify my hating them.

Sometimes I'll spend up to an hour on Wikipedia clicking link after link learning as much as I can.

Sometimes I think it'd be fun to do something illegal.

Sometimes when people analyze everything I do it makes me hate them.

Sometimes all I feel like I need to be happy in this world is a good hug.
Sometimes I rhyme just because I can.

Encounters with Nature on the Way Home from Work

It was a night like any other, as I walked, neither briskly nor slowly, towards mah humble abode from CiCi's Pizza. My legs were weak from standing for four hours at work, but I was feeling otherwise content; the three hour nap I had earlier in the day kept me feeling awake, and my tum-tum was full of num-nums. Suddenly, a wild rabbit appears! Or perhaps not. Upon closer inspection, it wasn't your ordinary street rabbit. No, this was a large bunny rabbit, the kind you keep as a pet. It's adowabwe fwuffy white tail bounced up and down as he hopped along gaily. I approached slowly, with curiosity abounding. Oddly enough, the big-eared fluff-ball surprised me with it's not-running-away-ness as I neared his little twitchy nose and shifty whiskers. He eyed me, then continued with his grass-munching. I stepped once; he hopped away once. I stepped again; he hopped away once more. I got close enough to touch his soft fuzzy-wuzzy hair, and then he was all like "hey bro, I'm just tryna eat some grass over here, do you mind?" (of course, he said this with his big round eyes, and not a voice. I sadly didn't discover a talking rabbit). We continued our little dance of one step one hop for near five minutes, and I attempted to persuade him to come closer, to no avail, with some grass I plucked. He eventually grew tired of me looming over him like a freaky bald thing that walks on it's hind legs, and he scampered off to do other rabbity things.

Just minutes later, I was busy making a moron of myself trying to open the locked back door. I eventually wisened up and made my way to the side garage door, which is left open about five inches so our cats can come and go. I pushed my way through the makeshift barricade put in place so it wouldn't fly about in the event of high winds and found myself not being able to see anything. I widened my eyes as much as I could, expecting somehow to catch more light rays or something. Suddenly, I caught a glimpse of the devilish beady gleam of the eyes of a raccoon. My initial reaction was something along the lines of "hey kitty." My second reaction was "AAAAAIIIEIIEIEIEIIEAIEIEIEEEH!!!" I quickly tried to close the door, which in hindsight, I had no idea what the heck I'd do if I managed to lock the thing in there. Keep it as a pet? Probably. Anyways, I was unsuccessful in closing the door because of the block of wood that was totally put there to keep it open. In the process however, I found a big weird stick with a funky crook at the end, which was good enough for me. I swung it around frantically, not really wanting to hurting to thing, but still sort of freaking out. He almost fell into a hole that I'm not really sure of its purpose, but still made his way through the open door. I don't know that he'll ever be coming back, because I know that I sure wouldn't.