I'm back, bay-bay!

So I was laying around the other day, wasting my life eating junk food and playing video games, and having an awfully grand time doing so, when suddenly I said to myself "sick flying pickles, I've got a blog!" So I hurried the fricksticks right up my stairs to my laptop, which brings me to here. I have been feeling a severe lack of writing, and I think this'll cheer me up. (I don't know if "this'll" is a correct contraction, but I like making those up, so I amn't going to change it.)

You know, I can honestly say that I'm pretty awful at pretty much everything. I mean, I can play some instruments pretty well, but I can't read music, and I never got a grade on how fast I can play something I made up on piano. I couldn't do Biblical Exegesis because every time something had a deeper meaning I took it as literal, and vice versa. Math? Well, that's pretty much a lost cause for me. Chemistry? That's just a fancy way of saying "more math." I enjoy languages but the translations over and over and over and over bore me. Words. I love words. If there's anything I can do in this world, it's list off synonyms for pretty much any word you throw at me. And you know the sad part about all this? Last year, at school, I did awful. I was awful because they give me all these classes that I have no idea what I'm doing in, while at the same time I wrote a grand total of about four papers the whole year.

And for serious, that's probably the reason I started blogging. We all know that my good friend Matt Woods and I had a sort of blog-battle in the beginning, but I seriously just wanted to write. Writing makes me feel good. I didn't have any classes where I could let out all this compressed creativity, and frankly it was screwing with my brain. I'd start getting sarcastic on my homework answers. I remember specifically answering "beats me" and "I dunno" multiple times on my math work. There was one particular case where I flat out said "who cares about the falling velocity of this kids baseball?"

So anyways, it feels good to be writing again. Writing is my mistress, and frankly my dear, I'll never get tired of you.

Class: unrelated to desired career. (for the time being?)

The other day I was trying to think of a way to get myself motivated for high-school Chemistry (which for some reason is taught out of a college level textbook?). Understandably, I had some difficulty. One solution I came up with was that I'd think to myself "every time I go into Chemistry class, I am a chemist!" And then I remembered that the only kind of chemist I'd ever be interested in is this kind. I got to thinking about my other classes as well, and my careers didn't match up with anything I'm really interested in.

• Every time I walk into Chemistry class, I'm a chemist.
• Every time I walk into Biblical Exegesis, I'm a Biblical scholar.
• Every time I walk into Government class, I'm a politician.
• Every time I walk into Anatomy class, I'm a physical therapist.
• Every time I walk into Greek class, I'm a scholar.
• Every time I walk into Algebra II class, I'm a failure.
• Every time I walk into Literature class, I'm in a book club.
• Every time I walk into History class, I'm a historian.

Is there any way we could have a sign language class? Or maybe I should just drop out and join ROTC. The military could be a good career. Admittedly, being a physical therapist wouldn't be too bad. If I was one, however, I'd want to work with injured soldiers, helping them regain a little bit of their civilian lives after suffering a serious ouchie. That'd be cool. And sign language, that's always been a dream of mine. Think maybe it could count as a language credit? Spanish is practical, but sign is elite; I'd be able to fit in with all the cool deaf kids.

Don't get me wrong, I love all most some of my classes just for kicks. Greek class is the flea's sneeze (it's like the cat's meow, but not). I just don't know if the schedule that's available is really an optimal use of my time based on what I want to do in life.

Has anyone ever seen Accepted? (It had Jonah Hill playing a fat idiot before he was a really famous fat idiot). I wouldn't suggest it, it's an awful movie. But it raises a good point that when people have the option to pick classes that they would enjoy immensely, they can draw learning out of some pretty crazy places. For instance, a bunch of skateboarders are studying applied physics by calculating equations about force and gravity and mass and all that good crap to see if a trick is possible, and then they're just like "dude" and they go out there and do sick flips and junk. Sitting in a classroom doing physics = whack. Spending half the class on a half-pipe doing tricks you just invented using physics = awesome.

Just a thought.

Fat, hilarious, famous idiocy.