I Wrote About Cursing Without Cursing Once. That's Impressive.

Lets be honest here. If you tell people you can't say frick because it's a substitute for the F word, you might as well tell them they can't say butt because it's another word for the A word. Or they can't say penis because there are words out there that are deemed unacceptable to say in public by society that mean the same thing.

Let me take you on an etymological journey.

Way back in ancient times, people spoke other languages. One of these languages was Latin. If you know anything about anything ever, you probably know that Latin was the root language for what are commonly referred to as the "romance languages." No, the romance languages are not languages you use to romance pretty ladies. They refer to languages such as Spanish, German, French, Italian, English, Portuguese, Romanian, and a handful of others that have roots in Latin.

For instance, Buena is Latin for good, bueno is Spansh for good, bene is good in Italian, etc. As you can see there is a physical spelling similarity. We derive words such as beneficial and benefactor from the Latin word good.

Now, have you ever heard someone refer to modern day curse words as "vulgar?" If you have vulgar language, as define by society today, you probably get slapped a lot.

The word vulgar though, actually comes from the Latin word "vulgaris," which means, "the general public."

Long ago, there weren't any Bibles written in English or French or whatever language you happened to be speaking at this undisclosed time period. So some people decided to write some "Vulgate Bibles." Don't ask me to get specific with this History stuff. As far as I'm concerned Gandhi wrote the Vulgate Bible. Go do some of your own research, lazy. What do I look like to you, Wikipedia?

I promise to the good God above, if any of you go complaining that I called the Bible vulgar, I will go into a fit of unquenchable nerd rage.

The Vulgate Bible was written in a language that everybody could understand, so that way people wouldn't have to listen to some boring priest tell his version of the Bible instead of reading it for themselves.

What I'm getting at here is that when people use "vulgar" language, they're using language that the common man understands.

So this, for instance, is not "vulgar": "Salutations, my amiable acquaintance! On account of the ominous fulminations overhead I think it best we remove ourselves from this large, open plain, lest we become the victim of precipitation!"

This however, is "vulgar": "Hey man, we should probably head inside, it looks like rain."

One day I suspect there will be new slang that's a public no-no to say, and all all the kids are going to be running around saying "f*** this applesauce s***, get me a ************* corndog, mom!" and people won't think anymore about it than they do when we say "screw Burger King, it tastes like crap, get me a dang McGriddle!" right now.

Times change. Holding onto tradition never hurt anybody, but if you refuse to move forward with the changing times, you'll do just that; you wont move forward. You're either with society, behind society, or ahead of society. If you're behind you're outdated, if you're ahead you're an outcast, and if you're with it you're with it you're a conformist. There really is no winning.

Class: unrelated to desired career. (for the time being?)

The other day I was trying to think of a way to get myself motivated for high-school Chemistry (which for some reason is taught out of a college level textbook?). Understandably, I had some difficulty. One solution I came up with was that I'd think to myself "every time I go into Chemistry class, I am a chemist!" And then I remembered that the only kind of chemist I'd ever be interested in is this kind. I got to thinking about my other classes as well, and my careers didn't match up with anything I'm really interested in.

• Every time I walk into Chemistry class, I'm a chemist.
• Every time I walk into Biblical Exegesis, I'm a Biblical scholar.
• Every time I walk into Government class, I'm a politician.
• Every time I walk into Anatomy class, I'm a physical therapist.
• Every time I walk into Greek class, I'm a scholar.
• Every time I walk into Algebra II class, I'm a failure.
• Every time I walk into Literature class, I'm in a book club.
• Every time I walk into History class, I'm a historian.

Is there any way we could have a sign language class? Or maybe I should just drop out and join ROTC. The military could be a good career. Admittedly, being a physical therapist wouldn't be too bad. If I was one, however, I'd want to work with injured soldiers, helping them regain a little bit of their civilian lives after suffering a serious ouchie. That'd be cool. And sign language, that's always been a dream of mine. Think maybe it could count as a language credit? Spanish is practical, but sign is elite; I'd be able to fit in with all the cool deaf kids.

Don't get me wrong, I love all most some of my classes just for kicks. Greek class is the flea's sneeze (it's like the cat's meow, but not). I just don't know if the schedule that's available is really an optimal use of my time based on what I want to do in life.

Has anyone ever seen Accepted? (It had Jonah Hill playing a fat idiot before he was a really famous fat idiot). I wouldn't suggest it, it's an awful movie. But it raises a good point that when people have the option to pick classes that they would enjoy immensely, they can draw learning out of some pretty crazy places. For instance, a bunch of skateboarders are studying applied physics by calculating equations about force and gravity and mass and all that good crap to see if a trick is possible, and then they're just like "dude" and they go out there and do sick flips and junk. Sitting in a classroom doing physics = whack. Spending half the class on a half-pipe doing tricks you just invented using physics = awesome.

Just a thought.

Fat, hilarious, famous idiocy.