The punchline is out of this world.

"Man, I sure wish I had payed attention in Californian geography class." The names of every significant city in that state seemed to somehow escape me. Three open-ended and three direct questions was what I was allotted, and I only had an open-ended question left. Trying my best to not get frustrated with my looming, inevitable loss, I recalled all the information I had gathered up to this point. "He's a place. A sunny place. And the people there are nice? That doesn't really help me at all. I know that he's in California, though. West coast, like he said." I couldn't think of a question that would help me in the slightest; I know next to nothing about Californian cities. This was supposed to be an exercise in asking good questions and getting information, but I was doing abysmally. Finally, desperate, I decided on "can you tell me what's around you?" I didn't know how this would help me, either, but it was the best I could do.



"Uh... I don't know. Adam, what's near me?"
"A lot of football fans." Replied Adam, the facilitator of this exercise.
Suddenly all of the spectators became distraught.
"You gave it away, Adam!" Said a random voice from the crowd. "Now it's too easy!" Shouted another.
"Does California even have a football team?" I thought to myself. "Quick, what are some football teams?" Up until this point in time, my lack of knowledge about football has never been a disadvantage to me. I haven't ever cared about football, and I was proud of it. I don't know anything about teams, and I don't know anything about California, and at this point in time, both of those facts were very unfortunate. "I honestly have no idea. That helped me not at all." I said, laughing.
"Oakland is near it, if that helps."
"Not unless the question is 'what is the baseball team in Oakland', Adam."
"You've never heard that saying? Oakland is right across the bay?"
I shook my head. Maybe he was giving me a hint, though. Across the bay. The only thing that came to mind was Green Bay. "Green Bay Packers, maybe?" I wondered. "I don't even know if Green Bay is in California. As a matter of fact, I don't know anything about Green Bay. California is near the ocean, so it's bound to have a bay or two, right?" Everyone looked at me intently. "You're Green Bay?" I blurted, extremely unsure of myself. Everyone erupted in laughter, which I took to mean that I was wrong. "I don't even know where Green Bay is!" I exclaimed, trying to elaborate on my ignorance, which made little to no sense in hindsight.
"I was San Francisco, dude!"
I still didn't get it. "San Francisco has a football team?"
"Yeah, the 49'ers dude!"
"I thought they were a basketball team..."

After the class settled down, Adam showed me my card that had the answer written on it: I was Saturn. Abdullah, my opponent, opened with a direct question.
"Are you a person, place, or thing?"
I looked at Adam. "I mean, I'm technically a place and a thing..."
"So? Pick one."
"Uh. I'll go with place. I'm a place."
"Okay. What are you most known for?"
I suddenly felt like I had gotten cheated, somehow. What am I most known for? Being a freaking planet. There was no good answer that wouldn't give away way too much information. "I'm probably best known for my rings."
"Rings?" He looked at me like I was crazy.
"Yeah. Rings. I've got famous rings."
"Well okay then." He thought for a moment, then asked, "what's it like there?"
I looked at Adam bewildered. "How am I supposed to answer that?"
"Maybe try rephrasing the question, Abdul."
"Okay... Are you in America?"
"Think on a broader scale."
"Are you in... North America?"
Adam and I both shook our heads. "Way broader."
"Hm. Just tell me about yourself, I guess."
"Well, I'm a gas giant, comprised mostly of hydrogen. I'm relatively large... I'm not really from around this part of the world, I guess you could say?" It was at this point in time that I considered bringing Saturn's proximity to Uranus into the conversation, but decided against it; I wasn't in the mood to be known as the "Uranus joke guy." "Also, I'm in space."
"Oh, you're a planet! Wait, which one has the rings? Jupiter?"
Jupiter, he said. I died a little bit on the inside, but maybe I wouldn't be the only one to get this wrong, which was nice.
"Oh! You're Saturn!"
All my hopes and dreams crumbled before my eyes. As I made my way back to my seat, Adam said "So you're telling me that you know all about what Saturn is comprised of, but you don't know where Green Bay is or who the 49'ers are?"
"Hey, I don't care about this planet." I said facetiously. "Saturn's way cooler, anyways."
"Whatever man, you're just a nerd." Said Abdul.
I looked at him as seriously as I possibly could. "No, seriously, Saturn is way cooler."

"It's like, -250 degrees Fahrenheit there."