Awkward times with the Sheriff and a knife.

It's a scarcely known fact that on some older models of cars, the ignition gets so worn down that you can use relatively anything to start it with. Other keys, can openers, and even pocket knives. My car is one such as that, and the pocket knife is my key of choice.

It was a normal, calm Friday morning, a little before 1 A.M. in downtown Tulsa. I was driving to go to my brothers house, from whence we would depart on a road trip to Texas. I glanced suspiciously over my shoulder to see if there was anyone behind me; I haven't had tail lights in my car for months and driving with your rear in the dark can make you nervous. I came to a stoplight and waited patiently for it to give me the green left arrow, when at the same time the Sheriff came to the same light on the opposite side, turning right.

"Come on buddy, turn on red. You can do it. Please don't get behind me."

No such luck. The light turned green. The Sheriff didn't budge. I took a deep breath and slowly accelerated, dreaming in the back of my mind that he wouldn't notice or simply wouldn't care about my blatant tail light violation. I passed under the bridge, and he followed close behind. I turned into the neighborhood I was headed to and he flipped on his lights.  I immediately thought of the joke "it's funny how red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they're flashing behind you." Pulling over, I starting fumbling around in the dark for my licence.

As he approached my vehicle I realized I didn't have a recent verification of insurance. "Fun stuff" I said with a wince. Upon my informing him of this, he went back to his cruiser and found my info on his computer.

"Alright son, I got you all checked out and..." He fell silent, mouth partially agape and eyes fixed on something in front of me. "Why do you have a knife sticking out of your ignition?"

"Uh... I'm just going to put that away." I put both my hands in clear view and slowly closed the knife and put it in my passenger seat. His gaze cut through the darkness and made my heart beat rapidly. I tried to explain that my car could be started with anything, but not without a good deal of stumbling over my own words. He stood there for awhile before handing me a warning for my tail lights.

"Use your keys. Fix your lights. Get your insurance verification."
"Yes sir, absolutely sir."
"Be careful out there."
"Yes sir, absolutely sir. Thank you sir, I will." I was thankful for him telling me to be careful, but  I was also pretty grateful that he didn't arrest me.

So remember kids, next time a cop pulls you over, make sure to at least try to make it look like you aren't driving a stolen car.