I remember the strangest things...

When I was little, I remember specifically very few things. I don't know what kind of stuff I enjoyed, or what I did to occupy my time other than a few little things. For as long back as I can remember, however, I have a vivid memory of what I imagined in my mind, as far as how the universe worked. I thought that everything had to be symmetrical. When I built things out of Lego's, they were equal on all sides, and were uniform in color. If I built a house, the house had the same number of rooms on one side as the other. All of the walls had to be one color, and that color was usually yellow, because yellow was the most abundant color block I had. Of course, my house also had knights to guard it and laser cannon security cameras. That's not the point though. Haha.

I also remember that for the longest time I was extremely picky about which order I tied my shoes. It has been and continues to be that put on my right sock, then the other, and then I tie my right shoe first, followed again by the left.

Everything had patterns. I was obsessed with even numbers. I would count the steps I took, and I would never end on an odd number. I thought odd numbers were possessed. I also always started walking with my left foot, so I could end on my right foot being an even number.

Okay, that's pretty normal compared to what I'm about to unveil.

In my head, I thought Satan himself was sitting up in my brain with a bunch of demons, watching my life on television screens. Satan and his cronies would get some sort of weird joy out of odd numbers and my left foot, and every time I would do something like tie my shoes right to left, or step an even number of steps, it would be like they were on fire, and the television screens would start to get blurry.

Is that not one of the straight up most ridiculous things you've ever heard?

Either I was possessed by demons when I was little, or I have one of the most insane imaginations ever.

As for the rest of the weird stuff I did when I was a kid, some of it crossed over into my older years, and I still do now. I still try to avoid stepping on the cracks in the sidewalk. I still keep my legs inside the perimeter of my bed because I think the invisible force field will keep the monsters from eating me. I still talk to my cats as if they can hear me. I still go up the stairs at my house on all fours sometimes, like I'm some sort of feral beast. And I'm gonna be honest here, I have a really good time doing it. Haha. I think in some aspects we never really grow up.

Oh well.

Arrest Me, I Speak in Maths! (bonus points for getting this song reference)

I have to be at work at 11. This means maximum number of hours of sleep would be 8 1/2, leaving me thirty minutes to physically and mentally prepare myself for work.

Probability that I can't find my other work shirt and will need to wash laundry: 100%.

Approximate time to compile, wash, and dry dirty laundry: 2 hours.

Therefore MST (Maximum Sleeping Time) is reduced to 6.5 hours.

Chances of me waking up too late to wash laundry: 70%, reduced by 5% per alarm I set on my phone.

Time wasted picking random times as my alarms so they will be perfectly spaced out between 0 - 100% consciousness (with each alarm increasing consciousness by 10%): 2 minutes per alarm, with an increase of 1 minute for every alarm after the 3rd.

For every one minute of consciousness tonight I waste approximately 2.5 minutes on Facebook/Memebase/Failblog/MLIA/videogames (aka F-e-b-li-ga).

If I set ten alarms at 8:00, 8:10, 8:15, 8:20, 8:30, 8:32, 8:35, 8:38, 8:39, and 8:40, following the previous formula, then I get (2+2+2+3+4+5+6+7+8) = 39 approximate minutes wasted on my phone trying to calculate perfect alarm times (aka browsing my "recent contacts" over and over to see if I want to text any of them). Then we calculate the FEBLIGA time (39 x 2.5) = 97.5 minutes, or 1.625 (97.5/60 minutes) hours of time doing FEBLIGA.

For the ten alarms I set, leaving me with 100% consciousness at exactly 8:40, I have done this: (10 x 5%) = 50%, leaving me a 50% reduction in the probability of me waking up too late to do laundry, or 20% chance of doing so.

What this means is despite having achieved 100% consciousness, there's still a 20% chance I'll somehow manage to screw up doing laundry. However, this can be countered by setting four additional alarms to remind myself to wash my shirt and other unmentionables (the four alarms are 4 x 5% = the remaining 20%).

(9+10+11+12) = 44 minutes, resulting in a 110 minute, or 1.83 (110/60) hour increase of FEBLIGA. This results in approximately 3.5 hours of FEBLIGA tonight.

Those 3.5 hours of FEBLIGA put my approximate sleep time at 5:40, leaving my MST at 3 hours.

Ability to do math at 2 in the morning: unhindered.

Probability of me blogging instead of going to sleep: 100%

Amount of screwed am I tomorrow at work: a lot of screwed.